Method To The Madness (Long Read)

What's wrong with him? He's just trippin. Why does he act that way? Idk I think he's crazy. Why does he never talk? He's just anti social. These happen to be the types of questions I'm all too familiar with. However those answers aren't in fact true. Now typically I don't like to write about myself in a personal way, because I would hate for someone to think they know me through a collection of words. But in this case I'm willing to make an exception so that you can get a clearer understanding. For approximately the 1st 19 years of my life I felt inferior to the rest of society and everyone that surrounded me. I'm talking inadequate, in a sense that made me very enraged. Enraged to the point where I developed a murderous mind frame at a very young age. It's quite possible I was born that way, without the ability to feel empathy when indeed I should...but follow me. I can vividly remember when I 1st felt this rage and saw RED for the 1st time. I think I was around 9 years old at the time. My dad decided to take me along with him and his 2nd family (his new wife, step son and step daughter) to Wildwood New Jersey to have some fun at the theme park. Everything was cool, riding rides, running around, playing games and everything, you know, just being a kid. So I remember him (my father) playing one of the games they had there and he actually won. Meanwhile I'm excited because one of the prizes you can choose from was a Chucky doll (you know, from the movie)..At the time I was OBSESSED with Chucky, the movies, the dolls character and everything. (This is why I said I was probably born this way, instead of a little kid being scared of Chucky, I got sheer enjoyment out of watching this character do bad things, but that's another story in itself)...So anyway, he chooses the Chucky doll and he gives it to me, and as a child I'm excited as hell...Fast forward to about 3 days later after we get back to Connecticut and I'm back at home with my mom. I get a phone call and on the other end it's my father saying "Justin I'm coming to get that Chucky from you ..... wants it, you're older you'll be alright" (referring to his step son who was i think 7 at the time, not sure but it doesn't matter)...I remember hanging up the phone, going to my room and sitting in silence staring at the wall for an hour or 2...Maybe then the seed was planted...You wouldn't believe the things that went through my mind, it wasn't sadness, it was an anger I can't even begin to put in words. I saw blood, I saw death and I had my 1st thoughts of doing serious physical harm to someone. Thoughts that no kid, nor anyone should have for that matter..So as he said he would, he came & picked it up, left and  returned it to his step son...There have been MANY fucked up situations since then that have shaped the person I am today (I'd be writing all night) but I point that one out because it's the 1st instance I can remember that has me feeling the way I do, even today....You never know the kinds of things that can stick with you through your entire life...Just to touch back on that situation, I hold no ill feelings towards my father, and even though we  don't have much of a relationship even to this day, I still love him, as he is 50% of the reason I'm here today....Moving on......Not anti social, you just don't want to hear what I have to say, you wouldn't know how to respond if I talked more, because my mind works quite differently from the average person..I'll offend you and won't care..I'm not crazy, I just happen to not be PC (politically correct) like the majority of society. I won't conform to what you'd like me to be...I've been in a lifelong fight, I have the battle scars for proof...The feeling of insignificance followed me my 1st 19 or 20 years of my life, I was never the most popular, never the one with 1000 friends, never the one to have much confidence...However I had 2 things in my favor, I was extremely smart and an undying will....At the age of 20 I was about 2 1/2 years into writing music when I created a lifestyle/monicker for myself, which came to be known as "Fly Free"...It was almost like a light switch, and once it was flicked I saw the world in a way that freed me from obscurity. I could do no wrong, there were no rules, I can't be stopped (even in death) and most importantly I went from having little to no confidence, to being the epitome of what confidence is...Don't care what anybody thinks...Won't back down from anyone or any situation...Music is my outlet, I don't have to speak to you...Fly Free is my lifestyle, I can do what I wanna do...Whether you love me or hate me it doesn't matter to me anymore, take a number and slide to the back of the fuckin line...I can count on one hand the people that actually know me and know exactly what I'm about...Let me give you a hint, if I don't speak while around you and you know me as "the quiet guy" then you're NOT one of those 5 people...They'll give you another story, I can guarantee it...At the core I'm still the same person I've always been since I was a kid, that anger has stuck with me and will never die, but I'm more self assured and that goes a long way...Always been a joker/shit talker, it's just in me.....So how does one go from feeling trapped, inadequate, and minuscule??? To being extremely self confident, brash and most importantly "without limits"??? The answer is simple......You Fly Free......................

What Are You Really Here For?

Ok, it's been a while since I've written about anything so I figured I'd warm up with a blog more on the serious side. Don't worry, there will be plenty of other topics for me to make a shitload of jokes or whatever about. But, I'm sure most people know that I am a recording artist, and unquestionably I take that more seriously than anything. So my question to alot of people who have the same dreams as me, and the people who are already enjoying marginal success in the industry is "What are you here for?" What do I mean?? It's simple. Basically you have to ask yourself how do you envision your life being 20 years from now? To me it seems like the vast majority of "Artists" if they can even be called that, have short sighted vision. Everything is about "how can I make a million dollars and smash as many hoes as possible?" "OOO I can rap and have the hottest new club banger!!!" Ok, that's all well & good for 1-3 years to have all that money in your pocket and enjoy the fast life of doing whatever it is that you dreamed of doing...But of course, everybody who's had money knows, that shit will leave you alot faster than you got it. Then what?? What's your next step? How are you going to survive? Where are all the cars, jewelry and clothes you blew all your money at in that short time frame? Better yet, where are them hoes you were trying to impress that also took a chunk of that money as well? See the problem with young niggas nowadays, they think the world is that "black & white". I get a hot beat--record this banger--get that shit on the radio and in the club--it blows up--then i get hoes....Seriously?? Is that all life is really about? Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with wanting women and a shitload of money cuz hell, I would enjoy that myself...But...When it comes down to it, the stability of myself and my family is a million times more important to me than that. I'm worried about how my kids are gonna live their lives..I'm worried about how their kids are gonna live their lives..My mom, my sister and every person I truly care about (which isn't many lol) but still you get my point...When that "well" runs dry on alot of these entertainers there gonna be worse off than they were before they even got all that money, cuz by then they'll be in debt, have tax problems, have kids they're struggling to support and a host of other problems..My objective is not only to enjoy the fruits of my labor but to extend that into something like an empire for my family to thrive off of for generations..I love music more than anything, and I work extremely hard at it, but music is my springboard to alot more great things in life..People like Jay-Z, Diddy, 50 Cent and a couple others realized this at a young age which is why they're in the positions that they're in..But a overwhelming majority of the niggas doing music, are in it for that quick dollar and and will enjoy their 10 minutes of fame..You'll be in a convenience store 10 years from now and ask the clerk for a Black & Mild and when he turns around it'll be a Young LA or some shit, asking if you want "plastic" or "wood tips" lol...The key is to treat yourself like a BRAND, which none of these niggas do, which is why they won't be around but a minute, and be broke the rest of their lives...A whole bunch of clowns living to be rich for 5 years smh...I can't speak for anyone else, but I know once I'm in the door, I'll be around for a very long time..Bet that!

The Tatt Era..

Ok no intro needed, what is the deal with people making tattoos so commercial these days? I remember growing up in the 90's when you saw people with tattoos, they kinda stood out. Why? Simply because their tattoos symbolized something unique about that person, it actually fit who they were and it was authentic to their character. Nowadays you could be walking down the street and see some wild shit like a nun with a crip flag & a pistol tatted on their ankle(so you can see with a quick lift of their robe), with the words "Only God Can Judge Me" on their hand smh. You got 15 year olds with "tear tattoos" under their eyes, and the only damn thing they've killed is their character/image when they got that bullshit on their face(Live a suburban kids life, if you grew up in the suburbs)...If you walk the halls of a high school these day's 80% of the students have full sleeve tatts, full of irrelevant, dumb, non symbolic, career killing bullshit, and don't have the slightest clue about what they're gonna do for a profession in the future. Yea, that shit seems cool when your walkin around and these "foggy minded" little girls are giving you all this attention, but what the hell are you gonna do when it's time to get down to "real business". Stop "Living in the moment" all the fuckin time and actually take a second to think about what's important in the long run. You gon' be walkin around with "Wiz Khalifa" tatts, with "James Evans" from "Good Times" money. These young niggas seem to be under the impression that having these tatts make'em look tough or something, when in actuality, "real hood niggas" don't give a fuck about your tattoos and will still try you the same way. YOU'RE NOT SCARING ANYBODY WITH YOUR TATTOOS!! CUT IT OUT!! You got young females gettin' seductive "video vixen"tattoos on their lower back(tryna be sexy) and the dumb ass parents wonder why their daughter's become super head 2.0...All these people got me feeling like a follower and all my tattoos actually have significant meaning, it's ridiculous. Back in the day people got tatts to stand out, now kids made it to where it's something you need to "fit in"..I guarantee you a vast majority of these kids and even niggas in their 20's weren't even thinking about gettin' tatted until a few years ago when this era begun. They just saw everybody else doing it and said to themselves "I don't wanna look like a lame ass nigga/female" and decided to fuck up their body with some meaningless ink..Smh, so sad. Like I said, it's not just the tattoos that's the problem. It's the "quality of the work", "the actual meaning of the tattoo", and the "I'm a follower factor". 100% of niggas who have tatts nowadays have fallen victim to at least one of those. Either they have "bad quality ink".."it really doesn't have significant meaning to them, they just make up some bullshit meaning when people ask about it"..or "they just got tatted because everybody else was doing it and they were tryna look cool"....Niggas/Females are followers these days, and if you say none of those things I just listed apply to you then you lying to yourself homie/girl..There are no more individuals left, just a bunch of tag alongs..just disgusting...I guess Twitter pretty much sums up the times we're living in right now, a world full of fuckin "followers" who are just tryna fit in..Fuck Ya'll!

Indian Or Chief??

When I was working at K Mart a couple years back, I had a supervisor that would act as if she was more than what her job description entailed. Now to make a long story short, just cuz somebody gives you the keys to the fuckin building to let the workers in when they're not around does not mean you are the store manager. Bitch, your mission was to let us in the door so we can do our jobs and get things done, NOT use your limited "I didn't talk to my guidance counselor when I was in school and now im stuck workin at KMart at 56 years old" skills to try and run shit when you're clearly not qualified. Point being, niggas need to learn their roles in life. Not everybody is a leader and not everybody is important when it comes down to it(indians). Way to many niggas out here actin like they Nicky Barnes(chief) when they're not even on the level of the "small local neighborhood" dope dealer. If you wanna be a chief as opposed to an Indian, you have to embody that every day, every minute, every second, with no breaks. It's like this... If your working at a big time radio station as a fuckin janitor and you got homeboys that rap, and you coming home every day tellin'em you gon' get their stuff played on the air, they're thinkin you do some other type of work at the station...No, you're a bum ass janitor working for $10.00/hr and the only time you'll even see the part of the station that plays the music is when your mopping the floor after the work day, soap boy. Nigga how bout you go and tell people the truth "I'm a motha fuckin beast wit some sponges and Mop & Glo"(Be true to yourself nigga!!)..Now there's nothing wrong with bussin suds & shit for a living cuz that's your job and how you make ends meet, but don't put on a front like you the dude in there spinnin' records. You (like the KMart lady) fall into the category of a "failure at life/I'm living from check to check to feed my family" type of person, so live that life and be humble...Before anybody puts on that front, they have to ask themselves two questions..Am I really doing this bullshit that im telling people?? and is it worth getting called out on, when niggas get tired of hearing my bullshit?? Cuz eventually you will be called out on it, and you will feel how "Precious" looks in the process..(remember that 6 we talked about?) Like I said there's nothing wrong with "Indian" status, just don't put yourself in "Chief" nigga shoes cuz you ain't bout that life. All the "chiefs" out there are to busy occupied with something much more important than the bullshit you're lying to your friends about. You sittin' there SAYING "I'm gettin to this money"...They're "gettin to the money"..You're serving niggas "McRibs" at McDonalds..They're "owning the McDonalds and monitoring your work" (if you can call that work)..You're "Smush Parker"..They're "Kobe Bryant"..You're "A member of The Outlaws" and They're "Tupac Shakur"..I think you get the point, so for the moral of this story I'll quote "The Rock".."KNOW YOU ROLE AND SHUT YOUR MOUTH, YOU FUCKIN JABRONI!!"

The Rating System(Bored Blog)

Time for a "shallow nigga blog"..Usually when you hear about what a dude rates a chick, or chick rates a dude it's based off the 10 point system. To me the 10 scale isn't broad enough to fully interpret somebody's looks or lack thereof. So how I do it is, I base it off a 100 point grade system, just like school. With, of course 100 being the max and 0 being the minimum...But it's kinda different cuz in school a 50 is failing, but according to my scale (the Ct scale) 50 means average, so in the grand scheme of things if your a 50, your "very average" looks wise.....Ok here's the rundown..1-9(Kill yourself status)..10-19(same boat as the 1st group)...20-29(consider facial and/or body surgery)..30-39(Needs alot of work but not all hope is lost, usually these are the females that can put on nice clothes and not appear as ugly as they actually are)..40-49(The normal every day girl..You can walk the streets and feel comfortable without somebody actually pointing at you and giving you the "WTF" face..like I said 50's average)..50-59(Average to slightly above average-nothing completely special, but better than average)..60-69(It's ok to be seen holding this chicks hand in public)..70-79(Very nice lookin girl, it's ok to take her home to meet moms, potential wifey material)..80-89(Beautiful, consider yourself a winner if you have a girl in this range..10 thumbs up)..90-100(You rarely see these types of females just walking in the street..This is the Elite status that all the thirsty niggas be puttin all them 32 rated hoes on..But if you're a female in this range GOD BLESS YOUR PARENTS!)

Let's test the system out according to my scale on females everybody knows:::

90's
Halle Berry-90
Aaliyah-90
LaLa-91
Meagan Good-91
Mya-95
Amerie-97

80's
Sanaa Lathan-80
Vanessa Simmons-80
Somaya Reece-80
Angelina Jolie-80
Eva Mendez-81
Jessica Alba-81
Tahiry-81
Lisa Raye-82
Melanie Fiona-83
Chrisette Michele-83
Gabrielle Union-83
Keyshia Cole-84
Ciara-85
Christina Milian-85
Stacey Dash-86
Vanessa Bryant-87
Beyonce-88

70's
Trina-70
Jazmine Sullivan-70
Angela Simmons-70
Alicia Keys-70
Vivica Fox-71
Keri Hilson-71
Penelope Cruz-72
Jordan Sparks-73
Teairra Mari-74
Tyra Banks-74
Kourtney K-74
Skylar Diggans-74
Rihanna-75
Tia Mowry-75
Cubana Lust-76
Scarlett Johansson-76
Stacy Keibler-76
Nia Long-76
Jada Pinkett-76
Gisele Bundchen-77
Selma Hyek-78
Erykah Badu-79
Amber Rose-79
Tamia-79

60's
Serena Williams-61
Monica-64
Nicki Minaj-65
Mary J-67
Cassie-68
Rocsi-68
Kim K-69
Eve-69

50's & Below
Jennifer Hudson-56
Teyana Taylor-50
Brandy-48
Fantasia-45
Omorosa-34
Snooki-33
Paris Hilton-27
Precious-6

Thoughts???

HoodBoogers!!

O man, Ok I'ma slide in a different direction since I pointed alot of these moist ass niggas that are walking around these days. There's a particular breed of female that should be wiped off the face of planet earth. No I'm serious, pack these "oxygen stealing" hoes in the biggest rocket ship known to man and blast'em into fuckin' oblivion cuz they absolutely serve no purpose. This breed of woman (if you wanna call'em that) are known to many as "Hoodboogers." What is a hoodbooger you ask?? Ok let's see.................To start, this is a bitch(yea I said bitch) that comes from absolutely nothing and doesn't have the slightest desire to try and rise from her "shitty" situation. This means, most likely her mother, grandmother and even her grandmothers mother have been hoodboogers and have happily passed down their skillful "hoodbooger traits" to continue this never ending cycle of "aint'shitness". At least I hope this is the case, because if your a "self made" hoodbooger, you should be ordered by law to skip that rocket ship flight and play a game of Russian Roulette with a fully loaded revolver, just to break the "hoodbooger chain" before it starts..Ok, if you don't know that you're one, here are a few dead giveaways::::Carrying food condiments in your purse(such as hot sauce,ketchup packs and other dumb shit):::::Excessive loud talking for no reason(bitch i don't need surround sound im standing right here)::::Having one or lots of different kids by niggas who refuse to be around(would you wanna deal with constant hoodbooger behavior?? ok then)::::16 million different color weaves(who are you trying to attract with that?...o yea the thirsty niggas I was talking bout before smh)::::Rather hit the club for the latest party than stay at home with your kids(smh @ bitches buying dresses for the club when their babies don't have shoes or food)...There's something seriously wrong with a person who would sell their food stamp card for money to buy a club dress..I guess this means no Cap N Crunch for little "Johntavious" in the morning, "you stankin bitch!"...You section 8 recipients disgust me beyond belief, I promise I typed all this shit with the "yuck face"..But I really can't be too mad, cuz your just following proper "Hoodbooger Protocol" *shrugs*..I could go on & on but I think you get the point. If any of you niggas have impregnated any of these skeezers, you have my condolences..However you've still taken a king sized L and should be beyond ashamed that you have to deal with this bitch for at least 18 years of your life(I request suicide)..Anyway, let me wrap it up with a PSA....ATTENTION: ALL YOU MISGUIDED HOODBOOGERS, IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE. GET OFF THE FOOD STAMPS AND ALL OTHER GOVERNMENT ASSISTANCE, FIND A JOB AND STOP BEING A DRAIN ON THE ECONOMY, YOUR KIDS, AND YOURSELF..AND AS SPORTY THIEVZ ONCE STATED "YOU BIRDS WANT A TAKEOVA?? GET SOME CASH & A JENNY JONES MAKEOVA"...I'm even pissed at the fact ya'll made me take the time to write this blog..I'm out!!

Extreme Thirst Epidemic (ETE)

I've been noticing a disturbing pattern lately, that quite frankly is starting to get under my skin. I call this the "Extreme Thirst Epidemic", and it's "out this bitch" spreading like wildfire. You may even be falling victim to this, and not even realize your actions are screaming THIRST!!! But anyway, all you "sahara desert mouf ass niggas" disgust me with the constant simpin & saving of these females. It's to the point where you can't even log on to your facebook page and look at your screen without seeing a nigga tossin all his dignity and self respect out of the window over some "bird brain bitch", in hopes for some ass...No lie, I promise I saw a group of at least 15 dudes on facebook "simpin"  under the picture of some stripper bitch with her ass showing tryin to set something up. Are you niggas really that parched for some ass?? Seriously?? Ya'll need to sit back and reflect on what ya'll be tellin these females, cuz ya'll out here takin' more L's than the Cleveland Cavs...All it takes is one of the "trout mouf hoes" to say something on her Facebook status like "I'm hungry, I want some Wendys"....Automatically she get 25 likes on it and 26 niggas asking which number value meal she wants. I'm guessin all this is done because your banking on the chance of actually gettin some from the chick, but 95% of the time she already has a "designated nigga" for that...You happen to fall into the category of a "captain save a hoe/bring a bitch a 3 piece & a biscuit/throw ya hero cape on" type of nigga. In the end you're only doing 2 things...1.Spending some of your hard earned money on a useless bitch that wouldn't care if you fell off the face of this earth tomorrow..2. Your feeding the ego (yes bitches have egos to) of a chick thats most likely not even worth the ego feed. Ya'll are the dudes that have these bitches walking around with their chested poked out, actin like they're better than the rest of the world, thus making it harder on "common " niggas to spark up normal conversation. You can't even say "how you doin?" to some of these hoes nowadays without them thinkin you tryna holla at'em(immediately giving you back attitude)..The blame is 100% on ya'll for gassin these chicks...Last but not least, just cuz you not "thirsty" in public doesn't mean your not thirsty...It's like I say all the time, don't be a "closet thirsty nigga" either, it's potentially worse, just like being a closet homo..A closet thirsty nigga is a dude who will have his jumpoff chick at his house and she ask for some outlandish shit like a new 2012 Acura, and he gets it for her cuz he knows nobody will find out. (even when this purchase was above his means)...I guess you niggas have to learn one way or another, but until then be ready for some light pockets & shattered feelings...This (ETE) has spread beyond belief......O yea, I almost forgot..I don't know how many of you have heard of Skylar Diggans, she's a collegiate athlete who plays basketball for Notre Dame...Although she's a pretty girl (a dime by female basketball player standards) 7 or 8 in real life standards...She went from like 9,000 followers on twitter to around 50,000 and now probably over a 100,000....Why you ask?? Yea (ETE) Spreads fast..She was featured on ESPN in the Women's Final Four against Uconn and out came the thirst...A million and 1 niggas all claiming thats their wifey or whatver..The sheer "lip swingin"(female version of dickriding) was disgusting and appalling...This is an unbelievable epidemic, so if you haven't fallen victim to it yet..PLEASE DON'T!